


Different Kinds of Decency

by romanticallyinept



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Begging, Blow Jobs, Blushing, Bottom Felix Millstone, Canon-Typical Violence, Come Swallowing, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Consent, Felix is a soft boy, Food Issues, Forever upset you can't romance him, Honorifics, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Out, Mentions of Felix's companion quest, Multiple Orgasms, Naked Cuddling, No huge game spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Post-Coital Cuddling, Reader-Insert, Safe Sane and Consensual, Slow Burn, Teasing, Topping from the Bottom, Touch-Starved, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-23 07:03:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21316129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticallyinept/pseuds/romanticallyinept
Summary: You don’t have a problem admitting, even if it’s just to yourself, that you have a soft spot for the kid. He’s earnest, and he’s clever, and he’s got a smile that’s damn well blinding when he chooses to unleash it. And he’s capable, too. But still, even with all of that, the kid’s just a kid.
Relationships: Felix Millstone/Reader, Male Captain/Felix Millsone, The Captain/Felix Millstone
Comments: 46
Kudos: 362





	1. Chapter 1

You never expected choosing your companions would be one of the hardest parts of being a captain.

You always take someone off-ship, and most of the time, you take two someones. More hands make less work, for one, but you also enjoy having them around, hearing them banter as you raid a vending machine for supplies. It makes you feel a little less lonely, less like the man out of his time that you are.

But choosing? That’s always hard. Nyoka’s always eager to get on-world and replenish her on-board alcohol stock. Max has his research, and there’s only so much of that he can do without new sources. Parvati wants to see every part of Halcyon that she can, and Ellie has a knack for finding you jobs that pay well with only minor risks to mind and body.

And then there’s Felix. Felix, who, every chance he gets, throws himself in front of gunfire that’s meant for you. Felix, who’s asked you for exactly one favor the entire time he’s been on the ship. Felix, who always waits with his armor on, who sleeps with it on, just in case you decide to go groundside in the middle of the night. 

You don’t have a problem admitting, even if it’s just to yourself, that you have a soft spot for the kid. He’s earnest, and he’s clever, and he’s got a smile that’s damn well blinding when he chooses to unleash it. And he’s capable, too. But still, even with all of that, the kid’s just a kid.

It’s the third time in a row you’ve left him on the ship, but you’ve got your reasons. You’ve got plenty of them, actually. For one, the kid’s still dealing with the fallout of the whole Harlow fiasco. You want to give him time, give him space to sort through his feelings and come to terms with them. But the main reason is that you’re fairly certain you’re going to have to engage in some murderous activities while on-world, and you didn’t need Parvati’s warning to realize the kid is impressionable. He’s got a case of hero-worship mixed up with adoration for the first person who’s ever given him a break - you don’t want him to see you doing more awful things than he absolutely has to.

“Nyoka and Max, with me,” you say, and you try to ignore the way Felix’s shoulders slump when he doesn’t hear his own name. 

You want to apologize, but you’re not sure how to say I’m sorry for protecting you without it coming across condescending, sarcastic, or both. So, instead, you give him a tight-lipped smile and hope he gets the message that you don’t hate him, you just want him safe.

* * *

By the time you make it back to the _Unreliable_, it’s going on four days since you left. Nyoka’s cussing up a storm behind you as you board the ship, and even Max’s longsuffering patience is about worn out. The three of you are hungry, tired, and bloody, and all you want to do is collapse into the bed in your own quarters and sleep until your body stops aching. 

But as you cross the threshold, ADA calls out to you. You can’t help the sigh that passes your lips, but you nod to yourself, gesturing towards the crew’s quarters. “Go clean up, get some rest,” you say. “And thanks for having my back.”

While the two of them trudge off towards showers and sleep, you duck over to ADA’s console. Her interface looks worried, even though you know she’ll deny it if you ask. “What up?” you say instead, folding yourself into the captain’s chair in front of her.

“Mr. Millstone wishes to speak to you,” she says. You wait, but that’s all.

“O-kay.” You raise an eyebrow. “I’ll go talk to Felix. Is there anything else?”

ADA hesitates, her interface cycling through expressions before she settles back on the worried one. “Mr. Millstone has been showing increased signs of anxiety,” she says, eventually. “He has not been eating or sleeping regularly since you left. Brain scans show a drop in serotonin levels.”

“Any idea what’s got him bothered?”

ADA’s expresion goes offended. “I don’t meddle in the personal lives of our crew, Captain.”

“Fine,” you say, making yourself get to your feet. “Don’t tell me.”

Normally, you’d stay for a while, banter with ADA and try to glean a little more information from her, but you’re too damn tired. And, now, on top of that, you’re worried about Felix. It’s not like the kid to skip meals - he’s managed to get over the urge to hoard food in his room, waiting for the day that he needs it, but he’s still gone hungry one too many times in his life to do it willingly now. 

Dragging yourself up the stairs, you pause, catching your reflection on a panel of shiny metal. You’re a mess - your hair is matted with blood, and there’s a cut down the side of your face that’s definitely going to scar, even if Ellie gets her hands on it now. Your clothes are stiff and muddy, and you’re pretty sure you smell, too - but you went nose-blind to that a while ago. It’s not ideal, but you don’t want to wait to talk to the kid.

Felix’s door is open, and he’s sitting at his desk, head propped up in one hand. You knock on the doorframe, gently, but the kid still startles, almost knocking his chair backwards in his haste to get up. “Boss!” he says. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were back. I was just…”

“You’re allowed to sleep,” you say. “Can I come in?”

“What? Yeah, yeah. Sure, boss.” Felix gestures at the space in front of him. “I mean, it’s your ship. You can kind of go anywhere on it, can’t you?”

You frown. “It’s your room. You get to tell me ‘no’ if you don’t want me in here.”

“No, I do!” Felix bites his lip, shaking his head. “I mean, I don’t want you in my room, but I don’t not want you in here, either. Uh, what I mean to say is…”

“ADA says you haven’t been taking care of yourself.”

Felix’s mouth snaps shut at the same time you reach behind yourself, closing the door to his room. The kid deserves some privacy, you think, especially since you’re going to chew him out. You sigh, reaching up to run a hand through your hair, wincing when the strands catch on a matted patch of dirt and blood. “Look,” you say. “I’ll be honest. I’ll tolerate a lot on my ship, but my crew being in subpar shape isn’t on the list. I need to know I can rely on you if I take you into a fight with me. If you’re passing out from exhaustion, or you’re too weak to carry a pack because you haven’t been eating, you’re a liability, not an asset.”

Internally, you wince a little. The words are harsh, even if the intent isn’t. But you need the kid to understand that this is serious, that no matter what he’s got going on, taking care of himself is a priority. “Got it?” you prompt, when Felix doesn’t answer. 

“Yes, boss,” Felix answers. He glances up at you, and then immediately drops his eyes back to the ground. He looks duly chastised, but there’s more to it than that. The expression you caught in the brief moment your eyes met wasn’t apologetic - if you had to put a name to it, you would have called it fearful. Shit. Maybe you were a little too mean about it.

“Hey,” you say, pitching your voice a little gentler this time. You take a step forward, reaching out when you’re close enough to put a hand on Felix’s shoulder. “I’m not pissed at you, kid. I’m just worried. _ADA’s_ worried. It’s not like you to skip out on food and sleep.”

Felix shrugs, but you don’t miss the way he does it carefully so he doesn’t dislodge your hand. On a whim, you squeeze your fingers gently. Felix shivers, and if possible, his head drops even lower. 

You have the inexplicable urge to reach out and drag Felix into a hug, but you don’t. Instead, you just squeeze your hand on his shoulder again, sighing softly. “Talk to me,” you say after a moment. “If something’s wrong, we’ll see what we can do to fix it, okay?”

Felix makes a sound that’s soft, but humorless. “Nothing to fix,” he says. He still doesn’t look up, but he doesn’t pull away from your touch, either. “‘m not pulling my weight. Earning my keep. And a few lean days won’t kill me, boss. I dealt with worse on the _Groundbreaker_.”

You blink, not entirely sure you heard him correctly. “You’re rationing yourself,” you say, slowly. “Because I haven’t brought you out on a job in a while?”

Felix kicks at the ground. “It’s not a big deal,” he says. “I just don’t want you thinking you’re coming up red with me, you know? I’m not like Parvati. I can’t fix the ship to stay in your good graces. Got a pretty limited skill set. And the stuff I do know…” He trails off, shrugging again. “It’s not like you need a pickpocket, with the jobs you’re running. And I might’ve been the prettiest stowaway on the _Groundbreaker_, but that’s definitely not the case here. You’ve got plenty of other options for, uh… stress relief.”

“Stress relief,” you repeat. There’s an awful feeling growing in your gut with every word Felix says, making your mouth dry and your throat tight. “Law. Let me get this straight. I’m not bringing you on jobs, and I’m not _fucking_ you, so you don’t deserve to eat?”

You don’t wait for an answer. Instead, you shake your head, dropping your hand from Felix’s shoulder to pinch the bridge of your nose. “You don’t have to earn food,” you say, making sure your voice is even. You want to scream, not at Felix, but because of the shit he’s been through, because of the other people who have made him think treating himself like this is okay. “You’re part of my crew. Food comes part and parcel in the contract.”

Finally, _finally_, Felix looks up at you. His expression is a little unsure, a little cautious, but the corner of his mouth is quirked up in a grin. “Should’a read the terms and conditions, huh?”

You laugh under your breath, reaching out to ruffle Felix’s hair. “Go eat something,” you say. “And then get some sleep.”

“Yes, boss.”

You offer Felix a smile, and you’re about to turn away to leave when the kid reaches out, his fingers closing around your wrist. When you look back, the kid’s biting his lip again, still looking unsure. You wait out the silence, though, waiting for Felix to find whatever words he’s looking for.

“I didn’t…” the kid starts. “I mean, I didn’t mean to imply that you’d… I know you’re a decent guy, boss, is what I’m trying to say.”

Oh. Your throat tightens again, and you turn your palm up to squeeze Felix’s hand. “I’m really not,” you say, because there’s still blood in your hair that isn’t all yours. “But I don’t take people to bed that don’t want to be there.” You pause. “If you ever want to give me names, I wouldn’t be opposed to making a few stops to dish out some karma.”

“I’ll think about it,” Felix says, and you sincerely hope he does. Right now, you really like the idea of finding the people that put their hands on the kid and making them hurt before you put a bullet between their eyes. “Thanks, boss. For setting me straight.”

Felix sleeps that night, with a full stomach and hopefully, enough reassurance that the ship is a safe place to be.

You, on the other hand, do not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a new fandom for me, and my first reader insert/second person fic, so be gentle. More chapters (including the burn of the slow-burn) will be coming. Let me know if I missed any tags!


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, you have a headache from the lack of sleep, but you also have a half-formed plan rattling around in your head. You’re pretty sure you and Felix are back on good terms, but with a misunderstanding of that caliber, you want to be sure. You want to make sure the kid knows that fierce loyalty of his isn’t misplaced. You want him to know you’ve got his back no matter what, that family means that you’re not looking at the cost/benefit analysis of his existence. And you don’t expect one late-night conversation to get that message across, not when people have been showing him the exact opposite all his life. 

You take a shower, and then you duck into the kitchen. Nyoka’s leaning up against the counter, drinking from an unmarked purple bottle, and Felix is across from her, halfway through a bowl of cereal. They both look up when you walk in, Nyoka with a lazy grin, Felix with immediate, intense attention. 

“Heading out in fifteen,” you say in Felix’s direction. “Supply run. You up for it?”

The question’s almost not even worth asking, because you know what Felix’s answer is going to be. To no one’s surprise, he jumps up to his feet, his whole face lighting up. “Yeah! Max just patched up my armor, so...”

You shake your head. “Civvies are fine,” you say. “It’s not a job, just stocking up on some things.” You gesture at Nyoka. “Gotta get our leading lady some fuel for her tanks, if you know what I mean.”

“Thanks, Cap,” Nyoka says, her voice almost a slur. You think about telling her off, but if you weren’t the captain, you’d probably be drunk too. It’s hard to fault her for wanting to be a little numb to the horrors you all encounter pretty routinely.

“ADA’s gonna mutiny if you puke in the engine room again,” you warn, but your voice is teasing. “Fifteen minutes, Felix.”

Nyoka mumbles something at you, but it’s lost under Felix’s eager, “Yeah, boss!”

As you turn to leave, you think about how easy the kid is to please. It makes it even more depressing that no one else has even tried.

* * *

“Just us, boss?”

Felix has an empty pack slung over his shoulder, and he’s looking around the bay expectantly, probably waiting for Parvati or Ellie to join the two of you. And any other time, you probably would have invited one of them along, but you want the personal time with Felix. 

“Just us,” you confirm. “You’re next up on the roster for a wardrobe update.”

Felix just looks at you, confused, and it pulls a chuckle from you. “You need some new clothes,” you say. “You’re wearing the same shit you were when I brought you on board, kid. At the very least, we’re getting you a new set.”

“I don’t have a whole lot of spare bits on hand.”

You shrug. “My treat,” you say. “Come on.”

It’s hard to find a tailor on Byzantium that doesn’t want to dress Felix up in glitter and gold - in fact, it takes walking out of three different shops to find someone who listens to him when he says he wants functional pockets and absolutely no velvet. The price is still jacked up and absurd, but you fork over the bits while Felix stands over your shoulder, gaping. 

“Boss,” he whispers as you leave. “That’s a whole lot of money you just dropped on me. Are you sure…”

“I’m sure,” you answer. “You’ve more than earned it, the number of times you’ve saved my ass out on a job.”

“But…”

“Nope.” You cut Felix off with a cheerful grin, and then push the bundle of clothes into his hands. “Go change somewhere.”

Felix takes the clothes, but he still hesitates. He’s biting his lip, a sign which you’ve come to realize means he’s uncertain about something. And you get it, you do - you don’t really have a normal captain/crew relationship with anyone on board the _Unreliable_, and Felix is no exception. 

“You can pay for drinks, if it makes you feel better,” you concede. Felix’s teeth release his lip, and the smile he offers you in return is shy, but it’s still a smile.

While the kid ducks into one of the hidden restrooms to change, you browse the nearby vending machines. You pick up a few bottles for Nyoka, and some upgrades for Parvati’s armor, stowing them in your bag. The pretense of this outing was a supply run, after all, and returning without supplies is going to be suspicious at best. At worst, Parvati’s going to demand details, and Ellie will threaten to break your face if you hurt the kid. 

The thought makes a warm feeling spread through your chest. You’ve got a good crew, a good set of friends at your side. They’re loyal to you, but they’re also loyal to each other - if the worst happens to you, they’ll be able to take care of each other. 

Felix comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later, hands in his pockets, hunched over on himself like he’s trying to hide. You make a sound of disappointment as he gets closer, shaking your head. “Not a chance,” you say. “Come on, show it off. The tailor promised you’d look jaw-dropping. If my jaw doesn’t drop, we’re going back and demanding a refund.”

Felix blushes, because of course he does - anything you say that vaguely resembles a compliment sends blood up to paint his cheeks. He unused to hearing good things about himself, and that much is obvious, but you’re not planning on cutting back. Your skillset isn’t all that diverse, but you can work raising someone’s self-esteem in between the murder and the intmidation.

Felix sighs, but he straightens, holding his arms out to the side as he turns around in a slow circle. “Satisfied?” he asks when he finishes, back around to face you. It sounds snarky, but the question is honest - the kid really does want to know what you think.

You almost say _pretty_, because that’s what Felix is at the moment - he’s pretty, from the mess of dark locks on his head to his pink-stained cheeks to the new threads he’s sporting, thanks to you. But pretty has connotations, ones that Felix made himself. _Prettiest stowaway on the Groundbreaker_. And Law, the last thing you want is for the kid to associate you with anyone like that from his past. Instead, you say, “You clean up nice,” and you try not to like the grin that spreads across Felix’s face too much.

“Thank you,” he says, and the raw honesty in his voice hits you, hard. “I don’t… I can’t remember the last time I had new clothes, boss. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it.” You jerk your head in the direction of the bar. “C’mon, kid. New clothes aren’t much good if you don’t get a chance to show them off.”

* * *

“Hey, uh, boss?”

You throw back the rest of your drink, your third of the evening, but Felix just toys with his, spinning the glass in his hand. He’s had one or two as well, and the conversation has been easy, smooth. The kid likes to talk about tossball, and you’ve been letting him, selfishly, because you like the way his face lights up when he gets excited about something. Now he looks nervous, but not tense - the alcohol is having somewhat of the desired effect, at least. 

“Shoot,” you say. “I’m just drunk enough to tell the truth. Any more, and I’ll start making up outrageous lies, so get going while the going’s good, kid.”

Felix chuckles, and you feel a smile spread across your own face. You like that sound more than you have any right to, but at the moment, you’re not thinking about what you have a right to like. You’re thinking about the way Felix rubs the back of his neck when he’s trying to put words into a sentence he’s not sure about. You’re thinking about the way his lips are glistening in the dim light of the bar. You’re thinking about the way his lashes flutter when he looks up at you, his expression equal parts admiration and earnestness.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you bring anyone back to the ship,” Felix says. “Are you… I mean, it’s not my place to ask, so tell me if I’m outta line, but you don’t… do you, you know. Not?”

You raise an eyebrow in Felix’s direction. “Are you asking if I have sex, Millstone?”

Felix blushes, heat rising in his cheeks, and your eyes fall to the patches of color. It’s cute, how your abruptness still pulls a reaction out of some of the crew. Nyoka and Ellie aren’t phased by it, but you manage to catch Parvati and Felix off-guard sometimes. But still. There’s a line here that you’re not going to cross. For one, the kid is… well, a kid. You’re not sure if your time on ice counts, but even if it doesn’t, you’re a good handful of years older than he is. 

But mostly, you’re unsure if Felix would tell you no. And that’s unsettling enough to kill whatever burgeoning arousal you’re feeling, because you can’t imagine hurting the kid, not in any way, on purpose or accidentally. 

“Sorry,” Felix says, ducking his head. “I said it wasn’t my place. I was just… you know. Curious.”

“About my sex life.”

Felix’s blush darkens, and you hate yourself for liking it. “It’s fine,” you say. “I think we’re at the point in our friendship where we can have awkward conversations like this, yeah?”

“Wait, for real?”

Felix looks up at you, all wide-eyed wonder, and you’re reminded of telling him that he was on the crew. It’s the same look he gave you then, all soft surprise and mild disbelief. “What?” you ask. “You’re the one who brought it up. You wanna go back to strictly professional?”

“No, boss, it’s not…” Felix shakes his head firmly. “I… we’re friends?”

Oh. Your heart aches, and you’re just drunk enough that reaching across the table seems like a good idea, your hand finding its way to the kid’s arm. “‘course we’re friends,” you say. Your hand lingers - you don’t remove it, and Felix doesn’t pull away. “But if we’re being honest, there’s not much to talk about in that department. I haven’t gotten laid since I came off the ice.”

Felix snorts, shaking his head as he laughs. “Sorry,” he says. “I’m not laughing at you, I just…” He lifts his hand, gesturing in your direction. “You’re you. If you can’t get some, the rest of us don’t have a chance.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” you say, and because of the Spectrum vodka coursing through your veins, you throw a wink at the kid. 

You’re not entirely sure what you expect Felix’s reaction to be, but you sure as hell don’t expect him to frown, or for his shoulders to slump inwards a little. You’re pretty sure you’ve fucked up again, but you can’t think straight about it. “Hey,” you say, leaning across the table a little. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to - I’m a flirt when I get drunk, ‘s all. Didn’t mean anything by it.”

Felix makes a sound, something that’s sort of like a hoarse, rough laugh. “I know,” he says, quietly. “You can’t blame a guy for hoping, though.”

You blink, trying to process Felix’s statement. _You can’t blame a guy for hoping_. Hoping for what? The answer seems obvious enough, given the topic of conversation, but you don’t want to assume. You do want to reach over, though, slip your fingers under Felix’s chin, tilt his head up so you can meet his eyes. You do that, and then you offer him a quick smile. 

“Tell me what you’re hoping for,” you say. “Tell me what you want, kid. No chance I’m gonna give it to you if I don’t know what it is.”

Your thumb brushes over the curve of Felix’s jaw, and you feel him shiver. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and then he nods, almost to himself. “I was -” he starts, and then pauses to cough, chasing the hoarseness out of his voice. “I was hoping you did mean something by it.”

Something in your expression must change, because Felix sighs, turning his head away. “I know it’s stupid,” he says. “You’re… you don’t have any reason to run around with someone like me. Doesn’t stop a guy from wanting.”

“You want me,” you say, and Felix flushes at the words. He nods, jerkily, and he looks so unsure, so hesitant - all you want to do is wrap him up in your arms.

Well, maybe you want a little more than that. 

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” you murmur, and Felix opens his mouth to protest, but you don’t let him. Shaking your head, you put your finger against his lips, cutting off any words he was about to say. “Hush up and listen. There’s nothing wrong with wanting.” You pause, weighing your next words, wishing you were a little more sober and a lot less head over heels for the kid sitting across from you. Finally, you sigh, rolling your shoulders back. “The question is if you’d rather just keep wanting, or if you wanna do something about it.”

The look Felix gives you is all confusion and disbelief and hope mixed up together. He looks a little shell-shocked, if you’re being honest, so you flash a wry grin, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “You don’t have to decide anything now,” you say. “I’m just letting you know that it’s an option. An option I’m on board with,” you add. “And if you want to keep it in the realm of fantasies only, that’s okay too.”

Felix makes a noise, a whine and a groan twisted together. The sound goes straight to your groin, and you wouldn’t ever say it out loud, wouldn’t admit it anywhere but in the privacy of your own mind, but you’re easy for this. Being wanted gets you hot, and not only does Felix want you, he looks at you like you hung the fucking stars, like he’d follow you to the ends of the universe if all you did was ask. 

“_Fuck_,” the kid hisses. He shifts, trying to be subtle, but you’ve spent too much time reading people to miss the stilted, awkward way he moves, sliding a hand into his own lap to press down against the zipper of his pants. “‘m not gonna be able to walk out of here if you keep talking about _fantasies_, boss.”

You grin, quick and easy, before leaning back in your chair. “It’s up to you if I keep it up,” you say. “I’m on board, but you make the rules. That’s the deal.”

Felix nods, swallowing thickly. “I can… think about it?” he asks hesitantly, and then before you can respond, he continues. “Not that I’m not sure or anything! It’s just… it’s a lot. And I’m not exactly sober. And if I say anything now it’s gonna be _yes_ across the board because I’m so fucking turned on and if you touch me I might keel over right here in this shitty bar and Ellie isn’t ever going to let me live that shit down.”

The fact that Felix isn’t laying down a blanket _yes_ makes you feel infinitely better about the situation. “Take your time,” you say. “I’m not in any rush.” And then, because you’re feeling bold, you add, “Besides. I wouldn’t want you making a mess of your brand new pants.”

“There’s a non-negative chance that’s still gonna happen,” Felix quips back. “Especially if you keep looking at me like that. Law, boss, you got a way of making a guy feel like he’s your next meal _and_ like he’s on top of the world all at the same time.”

You almost say a line about how you like to play with your food, but it feels pushy. Instead, you rise to your feet, stretching your arms up above your head in a way that doesn’t leave the situation in your own pants much to hide behind. Maybe it’s a little immature, showing off like that, but from the way Felix’s eyes drag up and down your body, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t mind. 

“Finish your drink,” you say. “Not much of a chance either of us are gonna sober up here, so. Let’s head home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the most self-serving thing I've ever written. EVER. It makes me happy that other people enjoy it too, though, because now I don't feel so alone in my kinky feels.


	3. Chapter 3

You can remember, with some clarity, the last time you were nervous. It was when they were putting you on ice. You don’t remember much about the actual process, but you do remember the butterflies you felt when they were loading you up in the pod, the lump that rose in your throat at the thought of something going wrong.

The nerves you’re feeling now don’t really compare, but that doesn’t make them any less real. 

The alcohol ensured you slept through the night, but now morning’s come, and some of the bravado you managed to put on in the bar is gone. You _care_ about how this turns out. You care about what Felix is going to choose, one way or another, and you care about the effect it’s going to have on you, on the rest of the crew. You care a lot, but you’ve said your piece, and you’re determined to let Felix make the next move.

As it turns out, you don’t have to wait very long.

The kid corners you as you’re leaving your room, a towel slung over your bare shoulder and a toothbrush hanging out of your mouth. You doubt you look remotely attractive, but Felix looks at you like he always does, full of admiration and certainty. This time, there’s a heat in his gaze as well that doesn’t leave any doubt as to what he wants to talk about.

“Hey,” you say, moving your toothbrush from your mouth to your back pocket. “I sense a serious chat coming on.”

Felix nods. “It’s the kind of serious chat that lets _me_ come on to _you_, though.” He grins, bright and wide. “I’m saying yes, boss.”

You resist the urge to let out a victorious sound, but it’s a close thing. You’re _happy_, and you know it’s showing on your face, because Felix is reflecting the look back at you. “Okay. Why?”

Felix blinks at you. “Uh… sorry?”

It’s a fair reaction - you wouldn’t have expected that question, either. “Why are you saying yes, Felix?” you ask. It’s not that you don’t trust the kid - you do. But you want to make sure he’s thought about it, too, that he knows what he’s agreeing to.

And you see it, like it’s visible, the light that goes on behind his eyes. “Oh,” he says. “Oh, I’m not… I know I could say no. I just don’t want to. You’re gonna be good to me, I know it. And Law, I want… All I could think about last night was your hands all over me. And I’m nervous, sure, for a whole hell of a lot of reasons, but I trust you to…” He pauses, licking his lips while he gathers his thoughts. “I trust you to do right by me”

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face at Felix’s confession. “I was hoping you’d say something like that,” you tell him. Stepping forward, you reach out, gently taking one of Felix’s hands in your own. You tug him close, and this time, you let yourself enjoy the few inches you have on him. It’s just enough of a height difference that you could tuck his head under your chin without stretching much, could cradle him against your chest without it being awkward. And you want to, you do, but Felix’s pulse is rapid, and his eyes are dark - there’s nothing wrong with a hug and a cuddle, but it’s not exactly what either of you have in mind at the moment.

“I wanna kiss you,” you murmur, ducking your head to press your lips to Felix’s temple. Then you chuckle, softly. “I want to do a whole lot more than kiss you,” you admit. “But I figure that’s a good place to start.”

Felix doesn’t answer, but he does turn his head a little, his nose brushing against your cheek. He shifts closer, and you can feel his breath on your skin, hot and humid and more than a little ragged. The kid’s high-strung and wanting, _needy_, and it’s going to your head faster than one of Nyoka’s Zero Gee cocktails.

“Hey,” you say into Felix’s hair. “I’ve got you.”

Then, turning your head, you catch the younger man’s lips with your own. For a moment, all Felix gives you in return is a shocked little gasp, but he doesn’t stay wrong-footed for long.

Felix kisses like he fights - he throws all he’s got into it, forgoing finesse in favor of force and passion. It’s not bad, not by a long shot, but you don’t want the kid to feel desperate, to feel like he’s rushed or hurried. You gentle the kiss, reaching up to cup the kid’s jaw with your hand. “Easy,” you murmur, your lips brushing against Felix’s. You don’t want to give up any bit of how close you are. “We aren’t in any rush, sweetheart.”

Felix grins, and, tentatively, his hands settle on your hips. You can feel the warmth of his palms through your sleep pants, and you suddenly, desperately, want to feel them on your bare skin. “Sweetheart?” he repeats. “People have accused me of a lot before, but being ‘sweet’ isn’t on my rap sheet, boss.”

You tilt your head, brushing your lips against Felix’s jaw. He shivers, faintly, pressing closer to you. “Bet you are,” you say, letting your kisses trail down over the younger man’s neck. “Only way to find out is to let me taste you, though.” You glance up, meeting Felix’s heated gaze. “Preferably, everywhere.”

Felix groans, his cheeks flooding with heat, but he doesn’t look away. “Law,” he whispers. “Yeah, ‘course. Anywhere you want, boss. Sir. _Please_.”

You raise an eyebrow at the honorifics, but the _please_ cuts off any comment you could make. With one swift movement, you turn, pressing Felix up against the nearest wall with the length of your body. The towel drops from your shoulder to the floor, but it’s the last thing on your mind as you capture Felix’s mouth again with your own. He moans, and you can feel the vibrations between you.

You scrape your teeth over Felix’s bottom lip as you wedge your thigh between his legs, feeling the hard outline of his cock through his pants. Felix’s hips jerk up, rutting against you, and for a moment you’re tempted to let him, to just rub off on each other in the hallway. It’d be good, because you doubt anything that involves touching the younger man could be anything but good, but you meant what you said about wanting to taste.

Reluctantly, you break the kiss, moving to brace your hands on the wall behind Felix. “As much as I’d love to suck you off here in the hallway,” you murmur, “my room’s a little more comfortable. And private,” you add. 

Felix makes a choked-off sound, his head thumping back against the wall. “You want to?” he asks, and it takes you a moment to comprehend what he’s talking about, because moving this operation to a bed doesn’t seem that odd of an idea. But then it clicks in your head - Felix is referring to the first part of your statement, not the second.

In response, you slide down to your knees in front of Felix, glancing up to flash a grin at him before you drag your lips up the bulge in his pants. It’s a gentle touch, more insinuation than anything else, but it makes Felix shiver, makes his hands jerk at his sides as he fumbles for something to grab onto.

Turning your head, you press a kiss to Felix’s hip, bringing your hands up to rest against his thighs. “I want to,” you say, and your voice is soft, but you know the other man hears you. “Do you?”

“_Fuck_,” Felix breathes, one of his hands finally settling on the top of your head. He doesn’t push, doesn’t tug, just lets it rest there, fingers gentle against your scalp. “Y-yeah. Yeah, I want that. I just…” He groans, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m not gonna last, boss.”

“Then I’ll save showing off my skills for another time.” You push yourself up to your feet, unable to resist leaning in to brush a kiss over Felix’s lips. “C’mon,” you murmur, taking Felix’s hand in yours before gently tugging him towards the door. “I don’t feel like putting on a show for the rest of the crew.”

Felix chuckles, letting you lead him into your room. “Ellie’s the only one who’d appreciate it, anyway.”

“Ellie would take pictures,” you counter. “And they’d be wallpapered all over the ship before dinnertime.” You grin when Felix laughs again. “ADA,” you call out. “Engage door lock. And if the crew asks, tell them I’m busy for the rest of the day.”

“Sounds ambitious,” Felix comments. 

You shrug. “I like to cuddle.”

Something in Felix’s expression softens, goes shy. “Yeah?” he asks, and you’re suddenly struck with the thought that Felix might not have had the opportunity to lay in the afterglow and just… enjoy it.

“Come here,” you say, your voice soft. And Felix obeys immediately, stepping forward back into your space. Reaching up, you cup his jaw, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “I’m going to cuddle the fuck out of you every chance I get, sweetheart. That’s a promise.”

Felix looks up at you, meeting your eyes, and you see the look that’s always there, that admiration mixed with trust and faith. The kid believes you, and while it should be a daunting feeling, instead it just feels… right.

“Bed,” you say, nudging Felix towards the piece of furniture. “I remember saying something about tasting you.”

Felix lets you manhandle him over to the bed, lets you guide him down to sit on it. His eyes go dark when you kneel between his thighs, and he swallows thickly when you reach up, tracing your fingers over the zipper of his pants. 

“I’m not going to be upset if you want to stop,” you say. “Seriously. I want to make you feel good, kid, so if it stops feeling good, let me know.”

“I’ll tell you,” Felix promises. “Right now, it feels pretty good. It’d feel better if you stopped teasing so damn much, though.”

You can’t help but laugh, a low, soft sound. “That’s fair,” you say as you pop the button on Felix’s pants. “Just relax, now. I’ll take care of you.”

The zipper comes down easy, and when Felix lifts his hips, you slide his pants and shorts off in one go. He gasps when the motion exposes his dick to the air, squirms as it slaps up against his stomach, red and wet at the tip. And you said you wouldn’t tease any more, but you can’t help leaning in, your tongue darting out to catch the drop of pre that’s beading at the tip of Felix’s cock. 

The other man trembles, his fingers fisting in the bed sheets underneath him. “Sorry,” you say, sending a quick smile in his direction as you finish tugging his pants off his ankles. “No more teasing.”

You take one of Felix’s hands and lay it on your head, and then you lean down, wrapping your lips around his cock. You haven’t sucked dick since before you went on the ice, but it’s not a skill you’ve forgotten. You pull back, wet your lips, and the next time you sink down, Felix’s cock hits the back of your throat.

It’s not enough to make you gag, but it is enough to make Felix swear, his fingers tightening involuntarily in your hair. “Shit, boss,” he gasps, and fuck, his voice sounds wrecked, rough and broken like he’s the one who’s had something down his throat. “You can’t - ah, shit, I’m gonna…”

You hum, purposefully, and press your tongue against the hot underside of Felix’s cock, before swallowing around him, and that’s all it takes.

The kid’s hips jerk, and his fingers tighten almost painfully, and then he’s coming, pulsing in your mouth. You can taste it, hot and bitter on the back of your tongue, but you wait to swallow until Felix has mostly stopped shaking. Carefully, you pull back, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before letting his spunk slide down your throat. It’s not exactly pleasant, but it’s not horrible, either, and it’s definitely worth the shocked look Felix gives you.

“Guh,” he says, falling back onto his elbows. His shirt rides up a little over his stomach, and you don’t try to resist the urge to reach out and touch, your fingers splaying over his belly as you sit down next to him. You’re hard, tenting your sleep pants obscenely, but the touch isn’t about drawing attention to the situation in your pants. Felix looks up at you, and his smile is lazy, satisfied. You love that you’re the one who put that look on his face. 

“Maybe sweet’s not the word,” you say, after a moment. “But I’ve certainly got no complaints about how you taste.”

Felix’s cock twitches against his thigh, and he groans. “Law,” he mumbles to himself. “I’m gonna think about that every time you talk to me. How you look with your mouth…” He gestures vaguely in the direction of his lap. 

“Now who’s talking about fantasies?” you quip, but your voice is light, teasing, and Felix answers it with a grin. He shoves himself back up into a seated position, and then, biting his lip, reaches his hand out to lay his palm on your thigh.

“What did you…” Felix starts, pausing when his voice cracks. He coughs, shaking his head. “For uh… for you. What did you have in mind?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Depends,” you say. “I’ve got a lot of things in mind. Do you think you’ve got another in you?”

Felix nods so fast you think he’s going to hurt himself. “Yeah,” he says, and you follow his gaze down to his own lap where his cock is laying against his leg, half-hard. “Yeah,” he says again. “I could go again. Do you wanna…”

“I want you to ride me,” you interrupt. “How does that sound?”

“Fuck, _yes_.”

Before you can say anything else, Felix is scrambling into your lap, and you’re two grown men so it should be awkward, but you fit together almost perfectly. Felix leans in almost immediately, finding your mouth with his and kissing you, his hands hot where they come to rest on your shoulders. You make a mental note to return to this, to Felix in your lap, wrapped around you, when you’re both a little less desperate to get off, because you like the weight of him, the way the heat from your bodies gathers between you. You like the way Felix is lazily thrusting against your stomach, the head of his cock catching on the folds of your skin and smearing its sticky wetness. 

Then one of Felix’s hands drops from your shoulder and dips down, bypassing his own dick in favor of grasping yours through your pants. You jerk at the stimulation, a moan escaping your lips before you can stop it. You’ve been so focused on Felix that your own arousal has been on a backburner, but it rages to life again when Felix touches you. You _want_, and you don’t have any doubts that Felix wants too.

Felix tugs on the elastic of your pants, making a soft, displeased sound. “Off,” he says, and you’re all too eager to comply. You stand, and your hands automatically go to Felix’s ass to support his weight so he doesn’t fall to the floor. The younger man groans, his legs tightening around your waist in an effort to help keep him attached to you.

A thought flashes in your head about holding Felix against the wall while you thrust into him, maybe in the shower, his ankles locked tightly behind your back. The thought sends a jolt through you, and you file it away - even if it’s not something the two of you try, it’s a fan-fucking-tastic addition to your spank bank. 

“I can’t actually get my pants off while I’m holding you,” you say, and Felix pouts. The gesture is so overdramatic that it should be ridiculous, but you find that you don’t want to laugh. Instead, you want to suck the kid’s lip between your teeth, make it wet and red and swollen before you release it back to him. But instead of doing that, you shift a little, carefully lowering Felix to the ground. 

Your hands go to the waistband of your pants, but Felix beats you there, batting your hands away. “Let me?” he asks, and your hands fall away before you even make the conscious decision to do so. Felix smiles, quick and bright, and then his fingers slide under the elastic, slowly easing it down over your hips.

He’s gentle, stretching the elastic over your cock instead of letting it catch. Then he eases the pants down farther, over your thighs, before letting them drop to the ground. Felix bites his lip, hesitant, and then he looks up at you, something dancing in his eyes. 

“I know you haven’t fucked in this century, boss, but I’m sure hoping you’ve got some slick.”

“Brat,” you mutter, but you can’t keep the smile out of your voice. “I haven’t gotten laid in a while, but I’ve had plenty of alone time, kid.”

Felix groans, shoving at your chest half-heartedly. “Don’t make me think about that,” he says. “I want to last a little longer this time.”

Resting your hands on Felix’s hips, you draw him in close, until you’re touching from your knees to your chests. You both make a sound as you press against each other, Felix’s hips hitching up against your leg as his head drops to lay against your collarbone. “Come on,” he murmurs, rolling his hips purposefully this time. “I told you I spent all last night thinking about your hands on me. I want to know what they feel like inside me, too.”

It’s your turn to shiver as you let Felix nudge you backwards onto the bed. You lay back, and he immediately throws a leg over your hip, moving to straddle you. It’s a tight fit, because the bunk isn’t made for activities like this, but you still wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

“Under the bed,” you say, and Felix leans over. A moment later, he holds up the bottle, looking far more triumphant than he has any right to.

Shifting, Felix presses the bottle into your hand. The look in his eyes is hungry, wanting, and you waste no time popping the cap and wetting your fingers with the liquid inside. “Relax,” you murmur, and then slip your hand into the space between you, ignoring Felix’s cock in favor of dragging your knuckles across his perineum, soft and teasing, before swiping one slick finger over his hole.

Felix jerks, his eyes fluttering shut as he braces himself on your chest. For a moment, his nails dig into your skin, a sharp sensation so different from everything else you’re feeling. “Relax,” you repeat. “I’ll go slow as I need to. And if you need to…”

Felix’s eyes flash open, dark and intense and fixed firmly on you. “I appreciate the reassurance, boss,” he says, and his voice is tense, urgent. “But if you keep treating me like glass, I’m going to take your slick and go fuck myself.”

“That’s… fair,” you manage, almost choking around the picture the words conjure up in your mind. “Point taken.”

Felix grins, and then you ease your finger past that first ring of resistance, and the grin turns to open-mouthed surprise. You’re gentle, but not offensively so - a breath or two later you’re curling the digit, stifling your own groan when Felix rocks down against your hand. “Fuck, _more_,” he demands, and you’re only too happy to give in.

Another finger joins the first, and Felix is tight around them. You give him a moment to adjust, to breathe, and then you curl your fingers deliberately, brushing against the swollen bundle of nerves you were looking for.

Felix _whimpers_, his cock jumping against his stomach, so you repeat the motion. This time, Felix trembles, his knees tightening around your waist as you circle the spot slowly. “O-oh,” he gasps, and his mouth moves like he wants to say something else, but no sound comes out. After a moment, he just nods. “Okay,” he says. “Okay. Another?”

It’s a question, not a demand, but you still comply, spreading your fingers wide before slipping a third in alongside them. Your wrists aches a little from the angle, but it isn’t all that long before three fingers isn’t all that tight of a fit. You glance up, and - yeah, Felix looks relaxed, his eyes hooded, his expression slack. His cock is the only part of him at attention, jutting up against his stomach and leaving a wet, sticky trail behind. 

“Think you’re ready?” you ask, and Felix just blinks at you for a moment, eyes hazy and unfocused. 

“Yeah,” he says, eventually. He looks fucked-out, like you’ve already wrecked him, and you can’t resist leaning up as you carefully slide your fingers out of him to press a soft kiss to his cheek. 

“Law, you’re perfect,” you murmur, and that pulls a whine from Felix’s throat. He doesn’t even argue, just watches you hungrily while you slick your fingers again, this time reaching for your own cock. The touch, even from your own hand, is almost too much - you’ve been hard for what feels like days, and you’re pretty sure you’re not going to last all that long, either, not with Felix on top of you, around you. 

Shifting, you nudge the head of your cock against his entrance. “Easy, now,” you say, and your hand goes to Felix’s hip, gently easing him down a fraction of an inch. You both make a noise when the crown slips past his rim, Felix’s low, deep in his chest, and yours more breathy, more ragged. 

You expect Felix to stop, to take a moment to adjust to the new stretch, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t stop sinking down until his ass is flush with your hips, until you’re buried up to the hilt in his tight, scorching heat. You’re gripping him so tightly you’re sure you’re going to leave bruises on his hips, but it’s taking every effort you possess not to cant your hips up and _take_.

For a moment, neither of you move, and you feel like you barely breathe. You’re a live wire, strung tight and dangerous, and you know that _something_ is going to snap and you just have to hope that you don’t embarrass yourself. But finally, finally, Felix exhales, his fingers spreading out across your chest as he shifts, just slightly. 

“Yeah,” he says, and then he rocks his hips. It’s a tiny little motion, but it sends fire singing through your veins, lighting up every nerve ending in your body from the inside. Then he does it again - and again, falling into a slow, measured rhythm. It’s a deliberate pace, meant to keep you both on the edge without tipping you over, but it’s your opinion that Felix is entirely too unaffected. 

To that point, you shift your hips up the next time Felix rocks down. It’s a minute change in position, the barest adjustment of the angle, but it’s enough to nudge your cockhead against that sensitive spot inside him. Felix tenses, above _and_ around you, letting out a half-choked moan.

After that, the gentle, measured pace flies out the window. 

Felix grinds against you, his hands flying up to tangle in his own hair as he gasps out little noises, pleas and praises all mixed in together. You brace your feet against the mattress and thrust when you have the opportunity, but mostly you jut guide Felix’s movements, rocking his hips for him when the stimulation becomes too much. 

“C-c-close!” Felix cries out, and you move immediately, wrapping the fingers of one hand around his leaking dick and stroking. 

“Go ahead, sweetheart,” you murmur, your voice rough and ragged. “Come on, come for me.”

Felix jerks, making an aborted half-thrust into your hand, and then he’s trembling above you as his cock spurts onto your stomach. He tightens around you almost to the point of pain, and that’s all it takes to send you tumbling into your own release, your breath catching in your throat as you empty yourself deep inside the other man.

You’re not entirely sure you black out (you’re not entirely sure you stay conscious, though, either), but when your senses decide to start reporting again, Felix is draped across your chest, his nose tucked into the crook of your neck. His come is already cooling between you, and you can feel it leaking out of him as well, sliding down around your softening cock. Felix doesn’t look like he has any intention of moving, though, so with a careful motion, you flip yourselves, bracing one hand against the bed as you lower the kid down onto it.

“Show-off,” Felix mutters, and Law, he sounds wrecked. He smiles, though, wincing only a little as you slide the rest of the way out of him. “It doesn’t hurt,” he assures you. “Just feels gross is all.”

Reaching over the edge of the bed, you grab your discarded pants, using them to wipe up the mess on both your stomachs. You dip the cloth between his legs too, and you’re gentle, but he still squirms at the stimulation. 

“Sorry,” you murmur, dropping a kiss to his chest. You throw the pants towards the opposite side of the room. “‘s better than laying in a wet spot, I promise.”

Shifting, you lay down next to him, adjusting the blankets around you until you can tug a sheet up over the both of you. “I hate being cold,” you say. “I think it’s some sort of weird muscle memory, from being on ice. Can’t fuckin’ stand it now.”

“Huh,” Felix says, and verbally, his reaction isn’t much, but he also moves, turning over onto his side and sidling up against you. He’s warm, practically radiating heat, and the leg he throws over your hip is warm, too. “Better?” he asks after a moment. 

Something catches in your throat. “Yeah,” you say, voice thick. “Careful, kid. I’m gonna get used to having you in my bed way too fast.”

You expect Felix to roll his eyes, or scoff, or make a joke, but when you glance down at him, there’s nothing but soft, genuine happiness on his face.

“No complaints here,” he says. “I think I want to get used to that, too.”

* * *

Parvati, when she finds out, squeals. 

“Oh, Captain! I’m so happy for the two of you. Felix’s always looked at you with hearts in his eyes. You two treat each other right, you hear?”

The others have… varying reactions.

“If you two fuck in the kitchen, I’ll let you bleed out next time you come back hurt.”

“Interesting. Perhaps you will have a sobering effect on the boy, Captain.”

“Congrats, fellas. I’ll buy you two a drink next time we dock.”

“SAM will clean all additional messes with the same gusto they were created with!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't mean for the last chapter to be 4.6k words. It was just gonna be porn! And then I started writing and they just... wouldn't... fuck. They wanted foreplay, what can I say.
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely feedback! I feel so excited about posting this update, and about writing more for this pairing. And for writing more second-person!!!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading - I certainly enjoyed writing.
> 
> Edit: I had an idea about a little AU where Felix was working as a _dancer_ on the Groundbreaker to make some extra cash and whenever the Unreliable docks there he works a shift or two to pocket some extra bits, and then one day the Captain decides he needs a night of rest and relaxation so he goes to the club Felix dances at and just happens to see him and kind of maybe has a small heart attack because that's _his_ boy up on the stage, that everyone's cheering for.
> 
> The fic would be called...
> 
> _Back Bay Babe_.
> 
> That's all.


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